I'm done with being unkind to myself! Share the love...

I am declaring war on unkindness…

What will it take to stop those negative thoughts of not doing enough, not being enough, not achieving enough?

What are we all trying to achieve anyway? Where are we all rushing off to anyway?

As I am recovering from an illness at home at the moment, I don’t have much choice to rest as I’m still a bit weak after being incapacitated. It’s #WorldKindnessDay today too, and as I was playing with some graphics I decided to write myself a little note to remind me to be kinder to myself today. I really don’t need to rush back into my business, rush to try and join in on social media, rush to get all the jobs completed in my home, rush rush rush. The voice in my head telling me I have to get strong, I have to be back achieving again asap otherwise ‘this’ ‘that’ ‘the other’…

My little note to self!

This is the note I added to my desktop.

I then thought I wonder who else is feeling like they need this message today?

So I just started sending it on messenger to a few people, then I thought I’ll just keep sending it to a few more, and a few more. Before I knew it I was feeling the compulsion to send it to everyone. I was a little worried that people might think I was spamming them! A little reminder, we all need it don’t we? We can all be so unkind to ourselves through our thoughts and actions without really realising it.

I had an amazing response from many, I was astounded really! Here are just a few and they are still coming back to me. If you want to feel better, first do something for others!

Are you tuning out or tuning in?

Are you spending time escaping your life? Becoming a little unconscious to the crazy busy world? Do any of these things resonate with you?

• Sleeping in more than you'd like at the weekends and your snooze button is worn out

• Getting down that bottle of wine without really realising it

• Polishing off a large packet of your favourite snack in record time in automatic pilot mode

• Not able to help getting involved in the latest office drama

• Collecting those busy badges of honor

• Scrolling and rolling on social media for hours until your eyes are so tired you have to go to bed

• Binge watching box sets until you feel ready to throw up

• Not being able to speak to anyone before your first of a million coffees

All of these things are deadening the voice inside you. They are tuning you out from your inner voice. That inner voice that would tell you if something is off or out of balance. Something may be out of kilter and needs your attention. Perhaps there is a truth that you don't want to hear? And it's not always the first thing that we feel.

The trouble with escaping it all is that often these things that disguise themselves as pleasurable, and it is easier not to listen in because, you are telling yourself you don't have time or it'll blow over eventually. However, one day those emotions and thoughts you are pushing to the side will start to spill over. And when we don't have the inner awareness to acknowledge our fears and emotions we can be so out of touch with them that this can spark a negative effect on our outer experiences, relationships and on how our business is going.

This can show up in our outer experiences in many ways:

• You finish working late and no-one has tidied the kitchen (again). You feel less than valued and end up shouting at the person you are supposed to love the most.

• You wake up late for an appointment and struggle to have patience with the other drivers on the road who seem to be intent on making you later than ever.

• You don't get an answer to the text you just sent, so you text someone else for attention and when they don't answer straight away you feel hurt and angry.

• Everyone at work is just plain annoying 99% of your day, it's more comfortable to hibernate at your desk than to potentially have a conflict in the office.

• You never have quality time with your loved ones there's just too much to do and not enough time to do it all in. This is making you feel depressed.

• You just want an hour to yourself but your diary is constantly packed out with things for everyone else but you.

• You never seem to get past that financial target and are consistently worried about your outgoings

It's just not sustainable to continue to live in this way. More importantly you're probably not feeling like you're really living if this is your experience of life. The reason is because your emotions are not being felt and expressed, you're avoiding what's really going on and you're scared to face that voice inside because it is going to tell you the truth, and so you go round in circles day after day, week after week. And there may be a deeper message that you are ignoring.

For example:

• You're feeling disconnected in your closest relationship - so you shout at the dog

• You're feeling down about your career or business but you're too fearful to change - so you keep procrastinating talking to your boss

• You feel lonely - so you keep berating yourself for not finding that person you crave a close connection with

• You had a hurtful experience in the past that you never want to go back to again - so you keep a distance from people who remind you

There is a way back to truth that will help you on your journey to getting back to feeling more alive, regain balance with your emotions and get back to feeling good again each and every day.

There is bad news and good news :)

The good news:

It is entirely your choice to feel more alive and even better than you ever thought possible and the way you can begin to do it is totally free.

The bad news:

You are going to get uncomfortable doing it.

What is the answer? SILENCE.

Yep. Silence.

Silence can change your life as it allows you to listen to the truth. It's the way the light gets back into your life. When you become quiet silence will speak to you. It will be your greatest teacher. It will support you to process the emotions, thoughts and beliefs you have been escaping from. Sound a bit strange?

Listen to silence. It has so much to say. Rumi

Giving yourself the gift of silence will open up a powerful space for you to listen to that voice within and let go of what is causing you to disconnect with yourself so often, and yes it could get a little uncomfortable along the way, but with support it's a small price to pay to feel the freedom of actually living.

Next time you feel like numbing out from your day to day life, instead of reaching for that second or third glass of vino, try taking a few moments of silence, perhaps take quiet walk and see if there is a thought or emotion present. Try listening and connecting with your breathing, and experience the moment with all of your senses. Just be. An experience of connecting with yourself in this way may well have an important and enlightening message for you that might just change your life and your business.

Have you tried connecting with yourself through silence?

If you'd like to explore the power of silence further, why not consider an online or offline retreat where you can take some time away to reconnect with your inner world?

Thrive not Survive Campaign #WomenWhoThrive

Enough! I’m starting a Thrive Not Survive campaign this week! We’ve been running on the hamster wheel of exhaustion for long enough, going round on the carousel of overwhelm for too many years, putting ourselves down for not achieving our goals and not getting there!

This is NOT what life is about.

Life is about experiencing and bringing your FULL self to the world. It’s about waking up to becoming more conscious of our thoughts, our fears, our responsibility to the world, our true power!

Inside us all are the answers to what the world needs, but we are suppressing this power by accepting fear into our hearts and minds. We are numbing out pain and therefore remaining asleep not fulfilling our full potential! Most of us haven’t even scratched the surface of our full potential because we are living life by upside down rules that are not allowing us to have a relationship with our inner world. We need to allow more space for our dreams, our visions, our purpose. But because we are going round in circles of constant action, constant trying hard to ‘get there’ where ever that is! we have forgotten to live now, in the present.

We are living in a world where everything outside of ourselves is deemed more pressing and important than our well-being and our true power of vision and creativity.

I see so many women pushing too hard, berating themselves for not getting somewhere, seeing their time running out to live out their vision for their lives and that’s causing massive overwhelm.

The TRUTH is you don’t have to live like this. You CAN wake up to the real world and live without this roundabout of overwhelm and procrastination, personal criticism and self-doubt.

This week, I’m running this campaign on social media and I am sharing one of these top tips each day to help your awareness of when you are going into fear and overwhelm.

• Practice speaking your truth every day - It’s OK to stick up for yourself and act from a place of your values, your integrity and your well-being. Speak from your heart in your daily life.

• Be your best self by creating each moment - Remember that you have the power inside you to determine how you feel. We are constantly creating our future so take a few moments every now and then in your day to ask yourself “ Am I creating the way I want to live right now in this moment”?

• Don’t settle for less! - It is your BIRTHRIGHT to be happy and feel alive. Your thoughts may try and tell you different, but the reality is that you are free and have infinite power inside you.

• Look to the light - Every day! But especially on those days when you’re feeling defeated, unmotivated or in fear of taking action that you know is your calling. Seek out happy experiences!

• Stop denying your truth - Get real honest with yourself about who you are & get clear on your values! There are jewels of wisdom buried inside you that hold your unique value in the world.

• Seek support and assurance - have faith in yourself and the bigger picture and people and opportunities will begin to become visible to you. Ask for help - a biggie I know but it’s a massive game changer when you do! I recently had a round of coaching that supported me through a bout of overwhelm and it’s changed my perception to clarity and focus again.

• Be flexible - you always always have choice! Some of the greatest leaders have tried and changed direction when something didn’t fit. It’s more important to be true to yourself than to continue doing something that doesn’t work! Seek out things that bring you more satisfaction and less pressure.

  And last but very much not least:

• GROUND YOURSELF EVERY SINGLE DAY - Get outside for a short time each day to ground yourself in nature’s energy, consciously breathe in and out slowly, and take this time to use your senses to connect. Enjoy just being for a few moments.

  I’d love it if you’d share your own tip for keeping fear and overwhelm at bay using #WomenWhoThrive and #ThriveNotSurvive

I’ll also be sharing practical tips in my Facebook group Radiant Leaders. Join in here.